Give Me Puberty or Give Me Death!

By Michael William Hogan

Our subject today is named, Willie
he’s such an unfortunate lad.
His story is sure to sound silly
but to Willie it truly is sad.

He’s never done well with the ladies
he simply cannot meet their needs.
Life for Willie feels somewhat like Hades
never once has he planted his seeds.

Willie’s peers came of age as expected
but Willie has lagged far behind.
He’s no signs of adulthood detected
not a whisker or pube can he find.

Now arthritic and labored of breath
to God, Willie makes one last plea:
Give me puberty or give me death,
‘cause tomorrow I turn 93!